The Wedding Planner, part three

The final post on wedding planning.

Guests
As much as you might like to invite the world and his wife, the food and drink has to be paid for so budget will pay a large part in the size of your guest list, as well as the capacity of your venue. This is another time when you might feel it appropriate to stick to your guns. There are some relatives that we absolutely did not want to invite for various reasons. If someone is not part of your life, do not feel that you have to invite them. Discuss this with your families and explain why. However, if the person(s) paying for the reception wants them there, you may have to be prepared to do some compromising.

List all your relatives, family friends, your close friends and then other friends. If you have a large family, make a decision what level of relationship you will include - i.e. Uncles & Aunts but not cousins, etc. If you decide not to invite children (as I did) pick a cut off age and stick to it across the board. Once you have your list, you may then have to prune or find you have space for more.

As many of our intended guests were overseas we sent out our invitations futher in advance than is normal. This had an added benefit. We had a number of friends and family friends that we had wanted to invite but couldn't due to lack of budget/space. When we found out that some people couldn't make it, we had time to send out more invitations to those people we couldn't previously invite.

Attendants
For the groom - your bestman should be solid and reliable. You don't want to be worrying about whether Joe will turn up with the car at the right time. Or whether Bob will forget to pick up his suit. Hubby couldn't decided between three good friends so he had all of them as groomsmen.

For the bride - do you want adult bridesmaids to go shopping with and to share your upsets, frustrations and achievements? or do you want to be surrounded by little sugar plum fairies? :o) I had two matrons of honour (who says you can't have two?).

I provided a list of tasks to my attendants and a rough schedule of the day. Unless they were humouring me, they seemed to appreciate knowing exactly what was required of them and at what time.


Things going wrong
Thankfully, these were few and far between. The more planning and thought you put into the day before, the less things should go wrong. By the morning of the day, you just need to relax as there is nothing more you can (or should) do but enjoy your day.

I had one button hole missing - one slightly stressed phone call to hubby later and I was calm again. He apologised to one person and said that we were a button hole short - no problem (I think the person was quietly a bit relieved!).

My bouquet wasn't quite how I wanted it but, as only I knew that, I was going to make an issue of it - it was lovely never the less.

One the groomsmen had different coloured trousers but I didn't realise until hubby pointed it out afterwards.

One thing to remember - your guests won't know what should happen so if anything does go slightly wrong just smile and carry on. Chances are, they won't spot it. If something more major goes wrong, try not to let it get to you. Provided that you and your fiance get married, the rest of it is peripheral. Everyone cares about you and wants you to be happy. They are there to witness this special ocassion not to expect a perfect performance.

Vows - I think most couples will worry about saying their vows properly. Thankfully we got ours right! We had the slight advantage of having my father conduct the ceremony - Dad gave me a copy of the marriage service in full so we could read over the vows but we were still quite nervous. So in the week before the wedding, we arranged for the three of us to walk through the entire service. We said all "our bits" in full and learned where we would sit and stand etc. Therefore, when we had the full rehearsal the night before we already knew roughly what was happening and, on the day itself, we knew exactly what was going to happen and we'd already practiced our vows twice so there were no hitches. I can't speak for all celebrants but I'm sure most would be happy to give you a copy of what you will be expected to say so you can practice if you're nervous.

As I mentioned previously, we both wanted to ensure that everyone felt welcome, included and relaxed. I had spent so much time on this one day but because of that planning we only had a few minor glitches and no last minute running around.

It was a remark from one of the groomsmen was one of the best compliments I could have received:
"We had a great time at your wedding. It was chilled out and relaxed unlike some of the hectic ones we've been to before."

That made everything worth while. We'd had a great day but not only that our guests had relaxed and enjoyed themselves too.

If there are any floundering brides-to-be out there, I'd be happy to help. :o)

Happy Journeys.